Dear Diary,
I’m back but feel completely shattered, and I can’t stop asking myself the same question: Why didn’t he fight for me the way I fought for him?
It’s been six months since my heart was completely broken. Let me pick up where I left off. Everything seemed to be going well; I was back with him like any girl in love would be. This time, his family was involved, and I felt an immediate connection with them.
But then, when his family asked him to meet other girls for marriage, he went along without considering my feelings or whether he could wait for me. Why couldn’t he just tell his family? He’s 30 years old; shouldn’t he be making his own decisions?
I helped him pick out clothes for his date with another girl. Was I crazy, or just fooling myself that he deserved all my efforts? The girl was a doctor, and even though he liked her, he said his family wouldn’t accept her career because they wanted someone who could work from home. This gave me a glimpse into his mind. His sister and brother-in-law even helped him create a plan. He believed our relationship would benefit his family. Was I valued only because of what I could bring to the table financially?
I was eager to meet his family, and while everything seemed fine initially, my family was not looking for a groom for me. They didn’t know what was going on in my head. His family assumed I wasn’t trying to communicate this union to my family, which wasn’t true. Healing takes time, and so does getting acceptance from families.
We tried using a mediator to talk to my father, but he backed out last minute. I was ready to do anything required, including talking to his sister’s friends and sharing my story. I was acting like a puppet. From the beginning, I never got the love, attention, or consideration from him that I needed. We fought a lot, but I loved him unconditionally and always went back to normal quickly.
I was always there for him, supporting his dreams and goals, helping him with his plans, and encouraging him to succeed. I was like a shadow, always present in his life conflicts. Though he loved me, he didn’t love me as deeply as I loved him. In a relationship, both partners need to contribute equally, and I was constantly yearning for his support.
Then his family started to worry about whether I could convince my family. They didn’t understand my slow approach, hoping my family would eventually come around. But patience ran out. A new proposal came for him, which he liked. Was he tempted just because she studied in London? This impatience led me to hastily give his father my dad’s phone number, despite knowing the repercussions.
When my family rejected the idea of our marriage, I was devastated. Love marriages are rarely approved easily, and I had anticipated drama and resistance. What hurt the most was the treatment I received from his family. No one checked on me or offered support. They only assumed that I had given up.
What upset me the most was his behavior. He had the nerve to suggest we shouldn’t communicate anymore. How could he break all ties over a single day? How could he so easily give up on someone who devoted so much to him? He said his family wanted him to move on. He conveniently forgot how much I sacrificed for him.
I, too, told him to go out with other girls, not wanting him or his family to suffer. I wished them all the best, but the question remains: why didn’t he stand up for me? If he couldn’t go against his family for me, how could he expect me to?
I tried to remain calm, wishing him luck in his life and fulfilling his family obligations. I foolishly kept my pain to myself. Since then, not a day has passed without tears. He taught me how selfish people can be, and once my family said no, all the affection he showed vanished.
He betrayed me, just like in his previous relationship. How can you ask someone to fight for you when you can’t even fight for yourself? You can’t expect guarantees about the future when you don’t even know what the future holds. Difficult situations teach you that your happiness is entirely your responsibility.
I still have a lot to say, but my heart is too heavy right now to continue. It’s been four days since I last talked to him, and his hurtful words still echo in my mind. Despite the pain, I’m getting stronger every day. I’ll face whatever life throws at me and find happiness again. This chapter is over, and I’m ready to accept my fate.
