“Is Sharing Always the Best Policy? – Imparting a Crucial Life Lesson to Your Children”
One evening, your toddler takes her doll to the park. Dolls are a favorite for many girls. Soon, one or more kids approach your toddler, wanting to touch and play with her doll. Your toddler refuses. The conversation between you and your child shifts from “Please share your toy” to “You need to share your toy with others,” becoming slightly tense. Have you experienced this? I have, many times.
How Sharing is Caring
My first park visit with my toddler was different from now. My child wanted to play with an older girl who had some sand toys. The girl’s mother encouraged her to share, saying, “Sharing is caring.” I was impressed and adopted this phrase. I taught it to my child, who enjoyed sharing her toys with other kids. However, when she noticed that some kids didn’t share back, she stopped sharing with them, and I was okay with that.
Forcing Your Kids to Share
I read an article that changed my perspective. It suggested not forcing kids to share, as it might make them see you as a nagging parent, leading to negative attitudes. I realized that some kids didn’t bring toys to the park or invite others to play because they were forced to share. This made them more reluctant to share.
How Would You Feel to Share?
Humans are naturally possessive. As kids, we don’t want to share our toys or our parents’ love. As adults, we might not want to share our new car. If an adult is forced to share something precious, they would feel angry and reluctant. The same goes for kids. They might share their toys later when they feel ready.
Sharing and Interruption
Imagine your child is building a castle with blocks and is deeply engrossed. Suddenly, another child demands to share the blocks. Should your child stop building the castle just because “sharing is caring”? No, the other child should wait until your child is done. Forcing sharing in the middle of an activity disrupts their imagination.
Let Your Kid Set The Rules
You play a crucial role in your child’s life, deciding what they eat, buy, and how they behave. However, sometimes you should let your child set the rules, especially when playing with peers. This fosters independence. I used to intervene a lot when my toddler played, but now I let her handle minor issues herself. This helps her develop her own identity.
Sharing Should Be a Personal Choice
If your child shares a toy instantly when asked, it might indicate submissiveness. Pressuring kids to always share can make them timid and unable to stand up for themselves. Listen to your child’s opinions and let them decide whether to share or not. If they choose not to share, respect that decision.
This Is The Age of Competition
Life isn’t always fair. Teaching your child to give up something whenever asked can lead to them being taken advantage of in the future. Teach them the value of sacrifice but also to stand up for themselves.
Make Them Face The Consequences
Kids learn through practical lessons. If your child doesn’t want to share and faces negative consequences, they will learn from it. For example, my daughter didn’t share her chair with a neighbor’s kid, who then left angrily. This hurt my daughter, and she learned the importance of sharing.
Teach Them How To Say ‘No’
Teach your child to say ‘no’ firmly but politely. This is a valuable skill, even taught in business schools. Kids should express their wishes without being rude.
No, Does Not Mean Non-Cooperation
Teach your child that saying ‘no’ doesn’t mean they are uncooperative. They can say, “Not now, maybe later” or “I just started playing.” This helps them voice their desires without being rude.
The Reverse is Also True
Just as other kids shouldn’t interrupt your child’s play, your child shouldn’t intrude on others. They can’t have everything and should learn to accept that. This helps them grow into responsible adults.
In conclusion, sharing isn’t always caring. Modern parenting is different, especially with many parents having only one child. Let your child grow up to be independent yet caring, fair without unnecessary sacrifice, and loving while having their own voice. Happy sharing (or not)!
