One evening, your toddler brings her doll to the park. A group of girls approach her, wanting to touch and play with the doll. Your toddler refuses, and the conversation turns slightly rude with reminders like “Please share your toy” and “You need to share your toy.”
When I first took my toddler to the park, she wanted to play with an older girl who had sand toys. The girl’s mother encouraged her daughter to share, saying, “Sharing is caring”. Initially, she enjoyed sharing her toys. However, she soon realized that some kids didn’t share in return, prompting her to stop sharing with them.
I read an article suggesting that we shouldn’t force kids to share, as it might cause them to view us as pushy. Humans are naturally possessive. For kids, sharing a toy can feel the same way as adults feel when asked to share their belongings. They might be ready to share later, but not when they’re deeply engaged with it.
Imagine your child building a large castle with blocks. Another child wants to play with the blocks, disrupting your child’s creation. Should they have to stop midway just because of the “sharing is caring” rule?
Sometimes, let your child set the rules, especially when playing with peers. This helps them gain independence. Pressuring kids to share everything can make them submissive. Encourage them to express their opinions and decide for themselves whether they want to share or not.
Life isn’t always fair. Teaching your child to give everything up can lead to them making bigger sacrifices later in life. Teach them both the virtue of sacrifice and the importance of standing up for themselves. Furthermore, it’s important to teach your child how to say ‘no’ firmly but politely. This skill is even taught in business schools.
Just as your child has the right not to share, they must also respect when others do not want to share. This understanding fosters a sense of responsibility and respect for others’ boundaries. In conclusion, sharing isn’t always caring. Modern parenting involves negotiations. Let your child grow up to be independent yet caring, fair without being a pushover, and loving while having their own voice. Happy sharing (or not)!
